Rejected? Be Like Spock

You email a carefully crafted message to that potential employer to let them know how much you admire their organization and would love an opportunity to learn more about what they do. They don't write back.

You work so hard on that job application and hold your breath as you hit send. You never hear anything back from them.

You send in an application and you do hear back (nice!)...but it's a short message. It's a no.

What about that time you went in for 3 interviews and met so many people and you thought it all went really well? But, then it was a no.

Going through the career gauntlet, and the job-searching part of the gauntlet in particular, can be hard! Sometimes, it involves A LOT of "no"s. 

Especially when you're working so hard to get potential employers' attention to show them all the amazing things you can do for THEM - getting no after no after no can be so discouraging. It can make you start to question whether you really can do all those amazing things that you know you can do. No after no after no can be a real hit to your self-esteem, even your identity.

Understandably, after a certain number of "no"s, you may start to tell yourself a million stories about why they didn't pick you. If only you could figure out what to do different next time, maybe you'll finally get a "yes"!

Here's the thing: we all interpret the world - especially things like rejection - through ALL SORTS of different stories. The stories we tell ourselves to explain rejection are almost never 100% true. But it probably doesn't matter whether these stories are true or not. What matters is: do the stories we tell serve us? Does it help us reach our goals?

I would humbly suggest that the stories we construct due to bumps in a job-search - especially when those stories are born from a place of scarcity and fear - very often don't help. Rather, they undermine that search.

Sure, in the short term, the stories we come up with may help us navigate ambiguity and solve the mystery of, "WHY DIDN'T THEY PICK ME?!?" But over the long term, very often, the stories that we construct to grapple with rejection only waste time and energy and drain our optimism and hope: no good.

Instead, I think job-seekers should be more like Spock.

As you may know, on Star Trek Vulcans are the extraterrestrial characters that rely so much on logic by shunning strong emotions. The most famous Vulcan of all time, Spock, offers a prime example of Vulcan stoicism.

Regardless of whether things are going great or things are going terribly, Spock keeps his cool and almost always examines things analytically. When faced with a setback, Spock looks at the data points to see what he might learn, but nothing is wasted on emotion or drama or loss-of-confidence - none of that.

One can imagine that, if Spock received a "no" during a job search, he might quickly examine the situation to determine if there is anything to be learned, but then he would move on efficiently and emotionally unburdened in the face of rejection. 

Look, don't get me wrong, strong emotions CAN be a powerful ally for many aspects of a job search (see: James T. Kirk)! When channeled constructively, strong feelings are very often vital for giving one the stamina to go the distance during a long job search.

However if/when you get rejected during a job search - there is no requirement for you to spend time or energy beating yourself up and/or feeling bad. Why did you get rejected? WHO KNOWS?!? It could have been for a million reasons - probably many reasons that had nothing to do with you or that you were able to control. Don't spend time on feeling bad or discouraged because that is likely just going to slow you down.

You got a no? Fine - it's just a piece of information. It's easier said than done (especially if you are a human) but you can chose whether to let that no throw you off your game, or not. So the next time you get a no related to your career, think about Spock.

Live long and prosper, and win at work.